Passive agressive behavior in dating
Passive-aggressive behavior refers mainly to a persistent pattern of failing to perform role expectations or achieve “normal” success despite ostensible effort and good will, and despite the aid and coaching of other concerned people.But day by day, passive aggression also describes actions that frustrate others indirectly, or that seem to place others in a bad light.That combined with the apparent goodwill, and an expressed desire to please make this behavior pattern absolutely one of the hardest to confront, by either the person experiencing it or others affected by it.It is best to avoid entering into an argument about whether anybody is doing it “on purpose” This is not really knowable on an by either the passive aggressive person or others affected, and is certainly not provable.It does this first by encouraging people to deny and bury anger that emerges distorted as passive aggression.Secondly, 'niceness' restrains people from confronting difficult and provocative behavior based on the feeling of irritation.
This is all very difficult behavior, seen more in organizations than in couples or families.
Success of any kind can then threaten the twin prospects of either rejection (abandonment), or the loss of self within another person's purposes (engulfment).
Passive aggression is often seen with depression and sadness.
In the formation of passive aggressive behavior, three things happen: 1) the resentment is largely turned back onto the the self, 2) the feeling of resentment disappears from awareness, and 3) the resistance becomes indiscriminate, and appears in all relationships.
A philosophy of 'niceness' can contribute to passive aggression also.